I was reading today in Galatians...

"5:19- The acts of the sinful nature are obvious; sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like. I warn you as I did before that those of you who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God"

"22: But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control."

I looked upon both of these "lists" and picked out from each what I felt that I had and what I felt that I needed and needed to get rid of.
It was a good time of reflection. And I think I will read these verses everyday until it is burned in my mind. I want my heart to be pure. I often wonder, how can I change this dirty heart of mine.. with so many bruises and scars, its all I have ever known. Change is a good word for me, but sometimes it can seem impossible. Its not though. It just takes discipline... like reading these verses everyday... Pinpointing the exact things that I need to work on. Spending some serious time in prayer... maybe writing it on my hand so I can go through the day thinking about it.
I dont want to me just a mediocre Christian. I want to do something for the gospel where people think Im weird or think Im crazy. I want to be used. But first I have to get this heart of mine pure and I dont want to wait any longer. Ive been stagnant and I keep saying 'tomorrow'. But im not even promised that.
I dont want my sinful nature to hold me in what God has called me out of

Blessed are the PURE IN HEART. For they will see God.